Talash: A search for God

Act 2

Scene 5

Islamabad 1988

Clouds cover the sky as Captain Bilal enjoys the afternoon in his sister’s veranda. His stay in Islamabad allowed him to pay her a visit. Nilofur is always very welcoming of her younger brother.

Captain Bilal: Yes, it has been very intense in the past few days. Refugees are pouring in Nilofur! I have been Peshawar, South Waziristan, Islamabad!

Ms. Saquain:  I am glad you are here for a while. You can relax. Ali is going to be back from school any time now.

Captain Bilal: Oh good! So how have you been? What are you up to lately?

Ms. Saquain: I don’t know Bilal, I have been a little disturbed lately.

Captain Bilal: Why is that? Something wrong?

Ms. Saquain: I keep having this dream, where I see a tree which bears only one apple but when I look on the ground I see pears. Every night, I have the same dream.

Captain Bilal: Did you tell Tariq about it?

Ms. Saquain: Yes. I did. He doesn’t know what to say. It’s always the apple hanging there and all the pears on the ground.

Captain Bilal: Did you talk to a psychiatrist?

Ms. Saquain: I am not sick Bilal! Just a little disturbed.

Captain Bilal: If it disturbs you, you should consult a psychiatrist.

Ms Saquain: I will see to that. Anyway, so how has it been in the refugees?

Captain Bilal: Over-whelming. Over-whelming!  Every day we come across new stories. Astonishing stories, heart-breaking stories! And every story is sounds so real because you can see the marks of sufferings on the story-teller’s face.  Like a couple of days back, this boy came in. He was around seven, I guess.

Ms. Saquain: Seven? Who was he with?

Captain Bilal: That was what struck me. Arshad told me that his mom and dad died in the war. His mom was killed in front of his eyes by the Soviets.

Ms. Saquain: Oh my God! What animals would do that? That poor baby!

Captain Bilal: Yes, I decided that rather than leaving him in Waziristan, he should be taken away to Peshawar, since the camps in Peshawar are better aided than Waziristan.

Ms. Saquain: But how is he going to survive without his parents, Bilal?

Captain Bilal: I left him with a young couple. What was their name again? Umm.. Yeah, Mariam and Akbar. They were nice enough to take the boy in.

Ms. Saquain: Are you sure they’ll take care of him? Have you visited them after you left him there?

Captain Bilal: No. I didn’t have the time to get that done. But I am sure he is fine. The aid in Peshawar is a lot better too. Almost everyone can get at least one meal a day.

Ms. Saquain: ONE MEAL? How is a seven-year-old supposed to live on one meal a day?

Captain Bilal: There is nothing we can do Nilofur! That is just how it is. The aid isn’t enough. A lot of it doesn’t even reach the people thanks to the extensive corruption in the upper chamber of our government. It’s Pakistan! The fact that we are housing so many Afghans is itself a big achievement.

Ms. Saquain: And why is the kid suffering because of that? Can you please explain that to me?

Captain Bilal: I know, it’s not his fault but we can’t do much right now. The war won’t last long. Soon a lot of Afghanis would be home again.

Ms. Saquain: Does the kid have anyone to return to?

Captain Bilal: Not really but what do we know, the family he is dwelling with might take him.

Ms. Saquain: Are you listening to the words coming out of your mouth? A couple who is unsure about their own future are going to take his responsibility?

Captain Bilal: Maybe. I don’t understand, why are you making such a big deal out of it? Thousands of such children...

Ms. Saquain: Yes, thousands such children cross the border everyday but Allah only made me aware of this one! Something inside me says this child is special. Bilal, I want to meet him!

Captain Bilal: Now you are just taking everything to a whole new level, like you always do. Why do you want to meet him?

Ms. Saquain:  I want to take responsibility of that boy Bilal. Don’t you get it? I want to do it.

Captain Bilal: are you insane? He is an Afghan boy! You can’t just adopt him! DO you know how much paper work is going to go into it? You guys will have to hire a lawyer! What about Ali? Do you think he’ll accept a boy in his family? You haven’t even asked Tariq yet!

Ms. Saquain: Tariq values my decisions because he knows they are well thought of. It feels right when I think of it. It makes me happy. Just tell me how can we meet him?

Captain Bilal: I can ask Major Hamza or Arshad to arrange for him to get to Islamabad.

Ms. Saquain: Okay, I will call Tariq right now. I am sure he’ll understand. I know him. What’s his name?

Captain Bilal: Ahmad.

Ms. Saquain: Ahmad, if I had another son that would have been his name. I don’t know why it feels so right in my heart. Alhamdulillah! God, help me through this.

Three days later

Lawyer: When is the boy going to be here?

Mr. Saquain: Any minute now. You can take the time to go over the procedures again.

Lawyer: Yes, so here is the thing. Adoption with in Pakistan is not difficult but your case is different and slightly more complicated. Well, to begin with the child you are adopting is an Afghani and secondly you want to apply for his emigration because your family would be moving to Canada in a few years.

Mr. Saquain: Yes indeed. So, how long do you think would this take?

Lawyer: To tell you the truth, if you have some helpful sources in the government. This can be done in two months. You can get his passport in two months and then you can contact adoption agencies in Canada and they’ll consider your case.

Mr. Saquain: Well, I have some friends who work in the government, so I guess we can get through the process easily.

Lawyer: Yes, so to begin with you’ll have to file the forms at an INS office. Once the forms are done and processed you’ll have to go the Pakistan family court and obtain custody of the child there under Guardian and Wards Act of 1890. And then you can proceed with the emigration file of the kid.

The door bell rings.

Ms. Saquain: I think that must be him (gets the door) Oh hi, come on in.

Captain Bilal walks in and Ahmad follows him. He notices the beautifully furnished house but he doesn’t express any signs of joy or excitement. Ms. Saquain kneels down kisses his cheek.

Ms. Saquain: Are you hungry Ahmad?

Ahmad nods.

Ms. Saquain: I knew you were! I will get something to eat and drink for you. Just follow Uncle Bilal and I will bring you some food.

Ahmad follows Captain Bilal into the living room where Mr. Saquain and the lawyer wait for Ahmad.

Mr. Saquain: Good afternoon Bilal. How are you doing? (stands up to shake his hand) And this must be our Ahmad! (smiles at Ahmad warmly) Take a seat.

Ms. Saquain reappears with bread covered with jam and a glass of chocolate milk. Ahmad looks up and then turns away.

Ms. Saquain: It’s for you dear. Eat away.

Ahmad: But then you’ll have nothing left (his innocence-filled eyes look in to Ms. Saquain’s)

Ms. Saquain: (her voice turns teary) We have a lot. Don’t worry! Eat as much as you want.

Ahmad: Thank you.

The lawyer hands out the form and to Mr. Saquain and explains the details that go in there. Ahmad nibbles on his bread, not sure when he’ll be treated like this again.

Two Months Later

Ms. Saquain: Ahmad, do you like your room?

Ahmad: Yes. Thank you.

Ms. Saquain: I knew you would. It’s way better than Ali’s.

Ali walks in the room.

Ali: No it’s not!

Ms. Saquain: Well, let’s say, both are equally wonderful, just like my two boys here. Ali, isn’t Ahmad a sweet heart? You know, how you always wanted a brother?

Ali: Yes. Ahmad is a cool kid (smiles)

Ms. Saquain: Ahmad, honey, how do you like your new family?

Ahmad: Is my mom ever going to come back?

Ms. Saquain: (lifts him up and embraces his frail body) I am sorry dear but God called on her. She can’t come back!

Ahmad: Even if I ask Him to send her back?

Ms. Saquain: I am so sorry, love, she can’t come back now. But I promise I will love you like your mom.

Ahmad: But I want her.

Ms. Saquain: I know you do. But I will try to be as wonderful as her! I promise. (she places him in his bed) do you want me to read you a story?

Ahmad: No.

Ms. Saquain: Okay then. Do you want Ali to be here? Or should I take him with me?

Ahmad: I want to play “I spy” with him.

Ms. Saquain: (smiles) Alright, I will let you guys be. Just call me if you need anything.

Ali: Alright mom! (Turns to Ahmad) Can I sit on your bed Ahmad?

Ahmad: Yes.

Ali: Thank you. So we are playing “I spy” right?

Ahmad: (giggles) yeah!

The glinting stars cover the night sky as the boys laugh and smile together. Ms. Saquain listens in on their conversation for a while and then walks away. Last night after a long time she dreamt that the apple was on the ground, with all the pears, ready to be picked up. Ahmad was her apple and she was certain that someday he will recognize her as his mom, as the person who’ll love him endlessly.

End of Act 2


Note: Due to the extensive amount of research involved in writing this play, I never got the time to complete it. I hope you'll understand. Never the less, my word limit has been met, so that does not concern the completion of the play.

Talash: A search for God

Act 2

Scene 4

North Waziristan 1988

Mountains stand high as the sun shines upon the Warn torn refugees from Afghanistan. The wind blows the dust with it making it difficult to see in distance clearly. Trucks storm in and out leaving people behind: people in search of security and peace.

Arshad: Where is your mom, kid?

Ahmad:  She was killed, sir.

Arshad: Who are you here with then?

Ahmad: I came here with them (he turns back and points to a group of men smoking cigarettes)

Arshad: They brought you here?

Ahmad: Yes.

Arshad proceeds towards the group of men.

Arshad: Assalamulaikum* brothers.

A huge man steps forward.

Man: Walaikumasalam.

Arshad: I want to inquire about this boy that you brought with you here. To register people in refugees we need some family background or some information to begin with.

Man: I am sorry but I don`t know anything about that boy.

Arshad: Where did you meet him then?

Man: You see, when we were boarding the trucks to cross the borders, a group of Soviet soldiers ambushed our truck. They came in and took everything that we had. They also took some women. (He looked down to the ground) This kid was with his mom. The Soviets tried to pull the woman out of the truck. She refused. (pauses) The men in the truck were helpless because everyone was unarmed. They fought for their women but they shot them dead on the spot. Those bastards took our women!

Arshad: What happened to his mom?

Man: She screamed and wailed. They dragged her out of the truck but she kept fighting back. And then one of them screamed something in Russian.  The soldier who was dragging her pulled a pistol out of his case. He pointed it to her and shot her dead right there. He ordered the driver to drive away.

Arshad: That is insane! Is it okay if I register the boy under your name?

Man: I am sorry but I can’t take responsibility of anyone right now. I am very helpless too, brother, I hope you understand.

Arshad: Thanks for talking to me. I understand. I hope Allah makes everything safe for you. Salaam brother.

Man: Salaam*.

Arshad walks back to the boy who is glued to the same place he left him in.

Arshad: Is you dad in the war boy?

Ahmad: No he died too Sir.

Arshad: Do you know any relatives who are already here? In Waziristan or Peshawar?

Ahmad: I don’t sir.

Arshad looks around. Flocks of people cover every inch of the land. The truck engines roar in and out. People scream and cry. They bend down and kiss the ground. They hold down to their children by their wrists and the children follow their parents. Thousands of people; smiling crying and wailing!

Arshad: What’s your name?

Ahmad: Ahmad.

Arshad: Okay Ahmad, I want you to follow me. We will work something out for you.

They walk through the crowds, curling around the groups of people who stand and talk about what’s next. As groups of people see Arshad walk past them, they throw many questions at him. He is the one in uniform. He knows everything; that’s what they think.

Arshad: (raising his voice) Our authorities haven’t sent out a word yet. I would like you all to be patient and get registered.

They walk to far corner of the field. Thousands of people are lined in front of desks where the Pakistani soldiers are signing individuals up. Arshad greets everyone with a stiff salute. The soldier seated stand up and salute back.

Arshad: Does anyone have any information as to where Captain Bilal might be right now?

Soldier: He went to inspect the crowds. He should be back soon. You should wait here for him.

Arshad: Thank you. (He turns to Ahmed) Stay here while I take care of some things. I will be back shortly.

Ahmad: Okay.

After a while Arshad returns with Captain Bilal.

Captain Bilal: Ahmad, is that your name boy?

Ahmad: Yes.

Captain Bilal: And you say that you don’t have any family with you here?

Ahmad: No.

Captain Bilal: (turns to Arshad) I believe, right now, we should send this boy to Peshawar. The refugees there are more organized. Over here, this boy would not be able to survive without parental or elderly assistance.

Arshad: I agree Sir. I think we can use the helicopters that transport aid to us to send him to Peshawar.

Captain Bilal: Yes, I think that will work out very well. But for right now, just get him registered as an individual.

Arshad: Yes Sir (Turns to Ahmad) we are going to get you registered and then you can go to Peshawar. You’ll be happier there.

Ahmad: Okay.

Arshad: Good boy, now here follow me. I will give you something to eat.

Ahmad follows him into a military tent.

Arshad: Here, here is some bread. I wish we had something more but I am afraid that we get very little food down in these parts.

Ahmad: Thank you.

Arshad: Now sit here; I have to go since I have a lot of things to take care of. Alright?

Ahmad: Yes.

Ahmad nibbles on his bread as if he is afraid that he’ll finish it up too soon. After a while he lies down on the thin rug on the ground and falls asleep.

Arshad: Ahmad. Wake up. Ahmad?

Ahmad: (squeezes his eyes shut) Did they bring my mom back?

Arshad: No Ahmad. We are taking you to Peshawar. You’ll be safer there. Come on now boy (smiles) Let`s go!

Ahmad: Is my mom going to come with me? Did they bring her back?

Arshad: No Ahmad. Your mom is not here. But you should go boy. You have to. (he lifts the boy up in his hands and walks outside the tent) Here he is. This is the boy I told you about.

Major Hamza: Oh good. We are about to leave soon. Put the boy in the seat and put the belts.

Arshad: Yes Sir. (he carries the half-conscious boy inside the helicopter and places him in a seat) You’ll be safer in Peshawar. I promise.

Ahmad: But what about my mom?

Arshad turns his back and marches away. Ahmed covers his face with his hands and starts crying in silence.  Moments after Major Hamza walk in.

Major Hamza: Are you ready for the flight Ahmad?

Ahmad: Yes sir.

Major Hamza: Okay then, we will be off the ground in sixty seconds. Just lay back and don’t be scared okay?

Ahmad: (wipes his tears) Yes sir.

Major Hamza: Okay, don’t worry kid soon we will take you to a nice place where you’ll have a better life.

Ahmad: Okay.

Major Hamza gets seated in the seat right besides Ahmad. The doors close shut and the dim lights are switched on. The noise from the rotor blades gets louder as the helicopter gathers air. Ahmed shuts his eyes and soon falls asleep.

Major Hamza: Ahmad, we are there. Get up.

Ahmad: (lifts one of his eyelids and then squeezes his eyes shut) I am hungry.

Major Hamza: I know but you have to get off the helicopter. We’ll arrange for your food (he undoes his seat belts and leads him off the helicopter) we are going to put you in the camp with a really nice family.

Ahmad: Is my mom going to be there?

Major Hamza: No dear, but you’ll have other people and they will be nice to you.

Ahmad: Okay Sir.

They walk into a huge barren field covered with camps. Major Hamza leads Ahmed into a maze of tents till he finally halts in front of one of them and bends down to a little to enter the tent.  Ahmad follows him. Inside a woman instantaneously pulls her veil over her head at the sight of an officer.

Major Hamza: Salaam bibi*. Is Akbar here?

The woman shakes her head as a response.

Major Hamza: He told me that you wouldn’t mind if this lad stayed with you here? He doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

The woman nods her head in approval.

Major Hamza: I will leave you here now Ahmad. You will be safer here than you were in Waziristan.

Ahmad: Okay.

Major Hamza: I’m afraid I will have to leave now. Many things need to be taken care of. Good bye Ahmad. (extends his arm)

Ahmad:  Good Bye Sir. (shakes hands and watches him turn back and leave)

Ahmad walks up to the corner of the tent and sits there quietly.

Woman: Which part of Afghanistan are you from?

Ahmad: Hazarajat.

Woman: Are you from the Hazaras, boy?

Ahmad: I don’t know.

Woman: I am sure you are because you belong to that place. Hazarajat belongs to the Hazaras.

Ahmad: I don’t know.

Woman: You look Hazaran too.

Ahmad: I don’t know.

Woman: You better respect me, lad. I am the reason you have shelter right now!

Ahmad: Yes.

A tall green-eyed man enters the tent that moment. He looks at the woman and then looks at the boy sitting in the corner.

Woman: Akbar, this is the boy we agreed to keep. His name is Ahmad. He is from Hazarajat.

Akbar: Salaam Ahmad. How are you doing?

Ahmad: Fine.

Akbar: When did you arrive in Pakistan?

Ahmad: I don’t know.

Woman: He doesn’t know anything Akbar. He hasn’t answered a single question properly.

Akbar: Mariam, I can deal with him. (turns to Ahmad again) Did your mom and dad die in the war?

Ahmad: Maybe.

Akbar: How did you come to Pakistan?

Ahmad: In a truck.

Akbar: I know that! What I mean to say is who brought you here?

Ahmad: I don’t know.

Akbar: That’s okay. Well, for as long as you are here, it’s our responsibility to take care of you.

Mariam: Akbar, I think the boy is a Hazaran!

Akbar: He is an Afghan first!! I think they’ll be distributing food soon. I will go and get that now.

Mariam: Okay.

Akbar walks out of the tent and Mariam lies down on the floor.

Mariam: Do you eat a lot lad?

Ahmad: No.

Mariam: Good to hear that. The food here is already so scarce. We starve every day, even though it’s just the two of us. I hope you understand.

Ahmad: Yes.

Mariam: Good. I am going to take a nap now. Don’t leave okay? We can’t search for you everywhere. You have to take care of your own safety.

Ahmad:  Okay.

Mariam: I am glad we got that straight.

After a while Mariam dozes off and her snoring drowns the sound of Ahmad’s hiccups as he cries in the corner, his face covered with his hands.

**Assalamulaikun/ Salaam: A tradition way to greet someone in Muslim Cultures

Talash: A search for God

Act 2

Scene 3


The wind blows through the trees as sun shines on the city of Calgary. The temperature is high and everyone seems to be embracing the heat. It has been a hectic day for Ali and Ahmad though. They have been driving around the city since the morning, getting their documents straight. Now they are finally on their way to Sara’s.

Ahmad: How do you think would she react?

Ali: I don’t know. But I think she would support your decision, as a matter of fact, I am sure she would support your decision.

Ahmad: I hope so too. Don’t you think it’s weird that mom didn’t say anything? Like she wasn’t particularly happy or worried or disappointed…

Ali: You know how mom is, right? She tends to get so worried about everything so easily. I am sure she was a bit freaked out that both of her sons were leaving. But I think mom and dad were expecting this to happen at some point in time (turns the AC up) Keeping you protected from your past forever isn’t something that they had control over. Ahmad, the past finds a way of showing up in our lives. In weird ways!

Ahmad: I know. Now that I think of it, everything just happened so suddenly that I don’t even believe that it’s happening. You got a job, you got the offer and then all of a sudden Afghanistan and Pakistan! It seems like a well-developed movie plot.

Ali: I agree. By the end of the day, I am glad that you are coming with me (looks at him and smiles) I am sure it would be one hell of an experience.

Ahmad: No doubts about that. I was wondering if after Sara’s we can go to Walmart and get some essentials. Like some clothes, sun screens and stuff, you know?

Ali: Yeah, for sure. By when do you think will you be back?

Ahmad: Aren’t you going to come with me? I told Sara that you were coming with me. I wanted to introduce you to her parents.

Ali: Oh no Ahmad, I don’t think I should stay, maybe some other time

Silence takes over for a few minutes

Ali: Hey, here is an idea: maybe you can take her out somewhere. Have a nice lunch and then tell her the big news. I mean, just don’t rush it on to her. Don’t do something stupid like entering her house and screaming on the top of your lungs that you are going to Afghanistan. Please! Be patient, okay?

Ahmad: (laughs) Ali I am not a baby. I think I can handle Sara without your assistance.
Ali: I know! All I am saying is that she is a part of your life now. Your decisions will affect her and you should acknowledge that.

Ahmad: I know and I do acknowledge that. Obviously I won’t be stupid in such a grave situation.

The vehicle comes to halt in front of beautiful town house with vibrant flower pots embracing the entrance.

Ahmad: So you are not coming in with me then?

Ali: Not today Ahmad some other time, I promise. I should get home now. Call me when you are done, I will pick you up and then we can head down to Walmart.

 Ahmad: Alright, I‘ll give you a call then. See ya (He gets out of the can and scurries to the door)

Ali: See ya.

Ahmad slams the car door shut behind him and walks to Sara’s house. He rings the doorbell.

Ms. Ahmadinejad: Oh Hi Ahmad. Come on in. Sara told me you’ll be dropping by. Oh God the heat is intense today, it’s burning outside!

Ahmad: (runs his hands through his hair) Oh yeah, Calgary is having one of those rare summer days I guess.

Ms. Ahmadinejad: Yeah. Wait I’ll call Sara. She is in her room working on something. (heads to the staircase) Sara, Ahmad’s here! (turns to Ahmad) Would you like some water or juice dear?

Ahmad: No thanks. (looks around) Is Mr. Ahmadinejad home?

Ms. Ahmadinejad: No, he is out of the city for the weekend. He had some business he needed to take care of. Why do you ask?

Ahmad: Oh nothing. I wanted to have his permission to take Sara out for lunch. I mean I know I have to take permission from her dad every time I do so but today since he is not here..

Ms. Ahmadinejad: (stares at him for a while and then smiles) In this heat?

Ahmad: (perplexed) Ummmm… yeah?!

Mr. Ahmadinejad: Well then, I see that since you were respectful enough to put our values before your decision. I don’t see a reason why I should say no. So yeah, you guys can go out and have fun! (pauses) I don’t know what’s taking Sara so long, she was all excited when you called this morning to inform us that you’ll be dropping by.

Sara: Mom, come on! Was that necessary? (Sara runs down the stairs, skipping the last one)

Ms. Ahmadinejad: And I was not supposed to say that! (grins)

Sara: Hi Ahmad. How are you? 

Ahmad: Never been better (smiles) What about you?

Sara: Same old. I am sorry I took so long. I was putting some things in order. It’s so hot today! Mom and I have been gulping up iced drinks since the morning. Would you like some?

Ahmad: No, your mom was kind enough to ask me about that already. I am good, thanks.

Ms. Ahmadinejad: I think I will leave you kids to talk. Just tell me when you leave okay, I am going to water my plants in the backyard. 

Sara: Alright! (turns to Ahmad) Are we going somewhere?

Ahmad: Yeah, we are going out for lunch.

Sara: With your family?

Ahmad: Nope. Alone (smiles)

Sara: But dad’s not here and you haven’t asked him for the perm..

Ahmad: I took care of that, I talked to your mom and she said it was fine.

Sara: Really? Great then! Let me just get my things from my room. (walks to the stairs and then turns to look back at Ahmad) Wait, did you drive here?

Ahmad: No, Ali dropped me off.

Sara: But then how are we supposed to go for lunch?

Ahmad: We have plenty of options. We can walk or take the bus or the train. Depends on where you want to go.

Sara: (shakes her head) What’s the point of having a car if you don’t even drive? Burn that vehicle!

Ahmad: (laughs) Well, Ali and I had been out all morning. I don’t see why we should have taken two different cars when we had to visit all the same places.

Sara: What were you guys up to?

Ahmad: Long story, I will explain later. Get your things and then we can leave.

Sara: Okay just give me a second. (She runs up the stairs)

Ahmad takes a deep breath and waits for her.

Sara: Okay, let’s go! (She rummages her bag for the keys) I’ll drive.

Ahmad: Well, I don’t like letting women drive when I am around. Here give me your keys, I’ll drive.

Sara: Okay, just get the car out of the garage, I will go and inform mom that I am leaving.

Ahmad: Alright.

They walk out the back door and get in to the car. Soon, they are driving down the road.

Ahmad: So where do you want to go?

Sara: Any place would work. But I am not in a mood of eating something fancy though. Maybe a burger or donair and ice cream… Ice cream! Maybe I can have an ice cream before lunch and one after!

Ahmad: If that’s what you want. (smiles) So McDonalds then?

Sara: Yeah!

Ahmad: Awesome! (He turns the CD player on)

Sara: Oh the Persian music again! (she looks at him and smiles) Whenever you get time, burn me a CD too. I would really want one to be a part of my collection.

Ahmad: Yeah sure why not. I am sure your dad knows these songs. These are some popular songs from his times.

Sara: Well, I have heard him listening to this sort of music before but I never gave much attention to it. But now that I have listened to it properly, I really like how it sounds. Very mellow!

Ahmad: I know, I don’t listen to music unless it’s absolutely intoxicating. And I’ve got to say, these songs, they are! (He takes a turn into the McDonald’s parking lot) Here we go!

Sara: I don’t know why but I have this weird craving for ice cream. But I think I’ll have something to eat first and then have the ice-cream.

Ahmad: Oh such big decisions of your life. What to eat and what not to eat!

Sara: Oh shut up! Don’t ruin it okay! I was wondering why you haven’t cracked one of your stupid sarcastic jokes yet! Think of the devil!

Ahmad: (laughs) Stupid? Sarcastic? Huh! But then again, you recognized a joke, that’s a step ahead.

Sara: Ahmed! You jackass!

Ahmad laughs as he pulls in a parking space. They get out of the car and walk to McDonald’s.

Ahmad: So do you want to eat in or go somewhere else?

Sara: It doesn’t really matter. Do you want to eat in?

Ahmad: Well, I was wondering if we could do down to the lake or something.

Sara: Yeah sure why not.

Ahmad: Alright then. So tell me what do you want?

Sara: I will take a cheese burger, fries, drink and.. (grins) a McFlurry.

Ahmad: Oh my God. Have you been working up an appetite for a week or something? Since when did you start eating this much?

Sara: Well, I feel like eating! Why do you care? Don’t want me to get fat ‘eh? (grins)

Ahmad: I don’t care if you’re fat.

Sara: Oh really now?

Ahmad: Yeah. No jokes!

Sara: Like I’ll believe that.

Ahmad: Well then don’t. But when I say I don’t care. I mean it!

Sara: Ooooooooh! (laughs) I know, I was just kidding.

Ahmad: I know that. Okay, wait here I’ll go and order.

Sara: Alright.

Ahmad walks to the counter to order food while Sara waits at a table looking around. She notices a family eating at a table in front of her. It’s a Canadian family but one of the kids seems like he is from Asian origins. She keeps looking there way and smiling to herself.

Ahmad: (comes up to her and then looks back to see what Sara is looking at) Sara, you know, you look kinda creepy looking at those people like that!

Sara: Oh, I was not looking at them. I zoned out.

Ahmad: Yeah, I could see that. Here’s your food.

Sara: Thanks. Well, I was just thinking that wouldn’t it be cool if we adopt a kid too when we get married.

Ahmad: Well, I guess so. Since I am adopted I don’t see why I shouldn’t give a life to some other kids like mom and dad gave to me.

Sara: I knew you would support the idea! I knew it. I mean, there are so many children in this world who are orphans. If we are able to give life to one of them wouldn’t that be amazing on our part?

Ahmad: Yeah. (gets lost in his thoughts)

Sara: Maybe we will adopt a kid from Africa or Indonesia. Or Afghanistan.. What do you think?

Silence

Sara: Hello? Ahmad?

Ahmad: Yeah yeah. For sure!

Sara: Do you even know what I asked?

Ahmad: Something about adoption?

Sara: Gosh Ahmad! Forget it. Come one let’s go. We will eat by the lake.

They walk out to the car as Sara gobbles away on her McFlurry.

Ahmad: You must be really hungry Sara!

Sara: Well, of course I am! I haven’t eaten anything since the morning. Do you want some?

Ahmad: Yeah just a bite.

He takes a bite of her Mcflurry and then opens the car door for Sara.

Sara: Oh, someone’s being a gentleman today.

Ahmad: (walks across the car and boards the driver’s seat) What do you mean ‘today’? Am I not always?

Sara: Not really. (Laughs) Well, you are fine. You have your days.

Ahmad: You are lucky, woman! Lucky cos you are stuck with me and not some jerk!

Sara: (turns to him) Lucky? Me? Oh you are the lucky one, at least you are not stuck with some girl who dominates over your life!

Ahmad: But you do dominate. (looks sideways at her)

Sara: Yeah right! Shut up. Don’t kill the mood.

Ahmad: Okay. I will be a gentleman and shut up.

They laugh together. The sun shines over their heads and the wind plays along as they drive through the city; laughing and chatting away. 

Sara: Hey I totally forgot, you were about to tell me something. Ummm.. Yeah, so what were you up to all morning? You and Ali?

Ahmad; Oh yeah! That! Well, Ali and I were getting our passport information and everything straight. Like I came here on a Pakistani passport, right? Because I never had an Afghani passport on me, so we just had to get all that straight. Had to send our passports to the embassy and get them renewed.

Sara: Oh! But why the sudden need of passports? Are you going somewhere?

Ahmad: Yeah. About that... (pauses and takes a deep breath) You know how Ali was planning to go to Afghanistan and Pakistan? And his editor approved his proposal?

Sara: Yeah, I know about that but why does he need your passport for that?

Ahmad: He doesn’t (concentrates on the road) I do.

Sara: Why do you nee.. Are you planning to go with him or something?

Ahmad: Yeah. I am!

Sara: WHAT? When did you make that decision?

Ahmad: Just last night.

Sara: Last night? You just randomly decided that you are going?

Ahmad: It’s a very long story Sara. It wasn’t a random decision. Umm... How should I put it?

Sara: (baffled) You should put it the way it is!

Ahmad: We are almost there. Let’s sit down and then we can talk about this. I will explain everything. I promise. (he looks to her and smiles reassuringly)

Sara: You better Ahmad! You better. (She licks the chocolate off her spoon) When are you planning to leave?

Ahmad: Well, we have to leave for Toronto in two days, from there we will pick our passports and then....

Sara: TWO DAYS? TWO?

Ahmad: Okay we’re there. Let’s find a place to sit down somewhere. I will tell you everything.

Sara: Don’t try to change the subject! TWO DAYS?

Ahmad: Where can I park..

Ahmad parks the car and they walk around a bit to find a quiet spot to sit. The lake is gleaming in the bright summer sun and many people seem to be out enjoying the weather. They walk around a little  and then come to a quiet spot under the tree. The decide to sit there.

Ahmad: Here (hands her the McDonald’s bag) here is your food (scoops out his burger from the bag) and here is mine. I am hungry!

Sara: Thanks. Okay so is now the right time to tell me? 

Ahmad: What?

Sara: You know what I am talking about! You, Ali, Pakistan, Afghanistan! Stop acting like that.

Ahmad: Oh yeah that! (Takes a bite of his burger) Ali was right; I shouldn’t have rushed it on to you. I am sorry, Sara. I know you are angry but I didn’t mean to make you angry or anything. It just all happened so fast, I just wasn't sure how to break it to you.

Sara: Ahmad, don’t apologize. I overreacted abit too. The news was too big to take in all at once. But I am sure you have a very strong reason behind this step you have decided to take.

Ahmad: I knew you’d understand (smiles). So anyway, last night Ali and I were out for a walk, a while after I had thrown a huge tantrum on him because he was leaving. I mean, you know how dangerous it is over there right? Especially in those areas, they kidnap journalists and torture them. I was so scared for him, I just didn't want him to go.

Sara: I know that. I know. So did you ask him to stay?

Ahmad: Yeah that’s how it started. He was so reluctant and he had made it clear several times that he wouldn't stay. That made me angry so I kept insisting and begging. He wouldn't listen to me and somehow he ended up suggesting that I should go with him because he was not considerng staying back as an option.

Sara: And what did you say to that?

Ahmad: I denied his offer at first. I didn't know what else to say but then he hit the string with this one thing he said! (pauses) He mentioned my mom and dad. My actual mom and dad who are buried in Afghanistan. He knew that I missed them. I mean, I can't help that. He knows that they appear in my dreams so often. (takes a sip of his drink trying to swallow the lump in his throat) It’s been sixteen years! Sixteen! I want to visit their graves. I want to know where they are burried. I want to visit my old house. I have been wanting to do that for so long but I just didn't hav ethe courage to pursue my idea. I wanted to keep my life uncomplicated. And  then last night Ali said it to my face and I realized, I can’t run away from it forever! I can’t! It’s where I belong. 

Sara: Ahmad, that’s a big realization. I am glad that you still have that respect for your parents in your heart.

Ahmad: Sara, they made me. If it had not been for them I would have never existed. I spent a part of my childhood playing in their laps. It’s time I returned to visit their graves.

Sara: Do you pray for them?

Ahmad: I stopped praying a long time ago!

Sara: Not even for your parents?

Ahmad: Who am I supposed to pray to?

Sara: Ahmad, stop being so ridiculous. You are supposed to pray to Go..

Ahmad: I am really not in a mood to start that argument again. So please, don’t push it.

Sara: Okay, okay! I am not going to push it. I am sorry (smiles) I will save my speech for some other time. I just want you to know that you have my complete support. I know this means a lot to you and I am happy that you’ll have Ali supporting you through it all. I wish I could be ther...

Ahmad leans in and kisses her cheek.

Ahmad: I am sorry. (He runs his hands through his hair) I know we are supposed to keep the virtue till we get married bu..

Sara: (looks into Ahmad’s eyes) How long would you be gone Ahmad?

Ahmad: A month or two. Maybe more, I don’t know how long it might take us to trace down my parent’s graves. And then Ali has some busin...

Sara hugs him lightly placimg her hands lightly on his waist.  The afternoon sun shines upon the tree they are sitting under and their food sits on the table. They don’t know when they’ll get married. They don’t know what the future holds for them. But at this moment they have each other. Sara pulls back.

Ahmad: (whispers in Sara’s ear) I love you. You know that right?

Sara: (smiles at him) I know you do Ahmad. I love you too.

He could see the intensity of color on her face. But he knows that he’ll have to wait. He'll havr to embark the journey first. He needs to sort out his life before he can take her responsibility. And he is willing to do that. He is willing to risk everything, to have her in peace. To have all of her to himself.

Ahmad: Lost your appetite? (grins)

Sara: You wish! (sighs) Keep emailing me okay? And call me every once in a while. Take pictures too. I have always wanted to know what those places look like.

Ahmad: Yes ma’am! I will. (smiles)

 The leaves rustled and the water shimmered as they chat and laugh. Another summer afternoon ticks by seeming like a dream that never lasts.

Talash: A search for God

Act 2

Scene 2


Ahmad is sitting by the window of  his apartment. The music is blaring from the stereo and he is taking sips of his coffee. After a while he lights a cigarette and starts smoking as he watches the sun set. There is a knock on the door.


Ahmad: Hi Ali

Ali: Hi bro. Why are you such a mess? And what’s with the long face? What have you been doing all day?

Ahmad: Nothing just sitting around, thinking, watching TV…

Ali: And smoking! Ahmad your place is stinks. How many cigarettes have you smoked today? I thought you quit ages ago!

Ahmad: Well, this is just for today. I am really stressed Ali, I don’t know for how long can I stand the shit in my life.

 Ali: Oh come on, this is not going to continue for long. It’s going to end someday! You have bachelors in Business. You’ve got to keep searching; you’re bound to get a job someday. (pauses) I am assuming that you still haven’t gotten calls from the firms you interviewed for.

Ahmad: Well, not yet. (presses the butt of his cigarette against the ashtray)

Ali: Ahmad (pats his shoulder) it’s going to be fine. Don’t lose hope.

They walk in to the kitchen and Ali leans on the kitchen counter as Ahmad fixes dinner.

Ahmad: You know what Ali? Even Sara got the job she interviewed for. Even she is employed now. I feel like such an idiot. How am I going to marry her if I don’t even have a job?

Ali: You aren’t marrying her tomorrow! You still have time Ahmad! You still have time.

Ahmad: I don’t know Ali. I don’t want to talk about it today. (puts the food in the microwave) How was your day?

Ali: It was very productive. (Smiles) You won’t believe what happened!

Ahmad: What happened?

Ali: The editor in chief of the Magazine agreed to my proposal! He agreed. And Jeff doesn’t have a problem with it either.

Ahmad: Agreed to what? (scrutinizes Ali) Ali, are you talking about going to Afghanistan and Pakistan?

Ali: Yeah!

Ahmad: Ali, so you are going there? You are actually going there?

Ali: IS there a reason why I shouldn’t? This is a big opportunity Ali. You don’t know, in journalism everything moves fast. You do a top notch feature on Afghanistan or Pakistan and the next thing you know, you are working for Times or National Geographic.

 Ahmad: Ali, career is one thing but risking your life for your career is different. Ali, I won’t let you do this!

The Microwave beeps

Ali: Ahmad, you are getting it all wrong! It’s not dangerous. And I was born in Pakistan. What could they possibly do to me?

Ahmad: Well, I was born in Afghanistan does that mean that if I return I would be immortal?

The microwave beeps

Ali: I am not giving up on this opportunity, Ahmad. This means a lot to me. I really do want to do a feature on Pakistan and Afghanistan.  

Ahmad: You are being ridiculous Ali. You are not thinking straight. Have you thought about what the worry you would be putting mom and dad through if you do this? I mean, you don't live for yourself Ali, there are people who are a part of you friggin' life!

Ali: Ahmad I realize that and that is why I want to do this now. Do you think I would be able to do this is I have a family and children of my own? Mom and dad would understand, Ahmad.

The Microwave beeps

Ahmad: What can I possibly say that would convince you that this is a bad idea!

Ali: At this point in time (pauses) absolutely nothing.

The microwave beeps

Ahmad: THIS DAMN THING! (he takes the food out and slams the microwave door)

Ali: Okay Ahmad, enough. Let's just have dinner right now. We'll talk about this later. Alright?

Ahmad: (He takes out a cigarette and sticks it in the corner of his lips) Alright.

Ali: Get that thing out of your mouth. Ahmad, how long have you been doing this? Has this been going on for weeks now?

Ahmad: No no! I swear I just started this morning. And this is the last one!

Ali: Right, the last one. Like it's that easy. Ahmad, I thought you would never do this again! It will take you ages to get out of this now.

Ahmad: IT WON'T!

Ali: Okay, okay. End of discussion here. Pass me the plate.

The night is dark and the streets are deserted. Once in a while a car passes them disturbing the balance of silence that blankets the night. Ahmad and Ali stroll down the side walk enjoying coffee and the chilly night.

Ali: So, did you apply to that place that I told you about? They were hiring.

Ahmad: Well, yes I applied but I don’t believe I am getting hired anytime soon.

Ali: So what if you don’t get hired? The world doesn’t end here. Give it some time Ahmad.

Ahmad: How much more time should I give things? Or should I just wait till I am sixty and then search for a job?

Ali: I didn’t say that. Well, it’s not like you’re broke! You know mom and dad have told you several times that they don’t have any problems against you borrowing money from them.

Ahmad: They pretty much paid for my whole life! Do you want me to ask them to pay for me till the day I die? (takes a sip of his coffee)

Ali: It was their decision, Ahmad! And they don’t regret it! I don’t believe you mentioned this here!

Ahmad: How can you expect me to completely ignore the fact that I have been brought up by people who are not related to me in anyway. How can you expect me to feel unburdened by their favours? I owe my life to them, I don’t want to ask for anything more. I want to be capable to give back Ali. It’s fucking high time now!

Ali: Ahmad! No one is asking you to return all favours. And favours, is that what you think mom and dad did for you? Do you even have the slightest idea how disappointed they will be if they hear this coming out of your mouth! (Shudders in frustration) Why are you acting like this? What is wrong with you?

Ahmad: Nothing! Nothing, but a lot has been on my mind lately. I am a man who doesn’t even know where his father is buried. I don’t deserve to take advantages from a family I am not even related to. I am getting married to a wonderful girl but I don’t have the money to support her. How are things going to work out in my life? From where I stand, death seems easier than this!

Ali: Oh yeah, I was just waiting for this line to come. Death is easier. How can you think that? Are you insane?

Ahmad: Whatever. What would you know anyway, you get everything! Anything you want. You got such a good job. You’ve got your parents with you. You have money! And now, you are willing to risk it all for that fucking travel feature. Ask people who have nothing. SOMEONE LIKE ME!

Ali: Oh yeah right! Obviously! I was waiting for this to come up too. I knew you were not going to let go of this that easy.

Ahmad: What am I just supposed to keep my mouth shut about it when I know that I lost my parents to the same land and soil? Am I just supposed to let you go?

Ali: Well the same land and soil made you. Ahmad, do you realize that there are still people living there? There is still life over there. There are women and children struggling for serenity!

Ahmad: I know Ali. And I understand there sufferings because once I was a part of it myself but I can’t let you go there. I just can’t!

Ali: Ahmed I know that you are being considerate but Ahmad I am not doing this just for my career. I want to go there. I want to meet my relatives, my extended family. I want to experience the life there. It’s been sixteen years, Ahmad. Do you have any idea what that means?

Ahmad: I understand Ali but I just (a car passes them drowning the intensity of Ahmad’s scream) WANT YOU TO STAY!

Ali: But I don’t want to Ahmad! I don’t want to! You know what, here is an idea. Why don’t you come with me? Take some time off your life here.

Ahmad: (glares right into Ali’s eyes) You (pauses) want me (pauses) to come with you? To Afghanistan and Pakistan?

Ali: I think you need to do this. See, if you want me to stay back, I am not going to do that. But I think you need to give those places a visit. You need to visit your mom and dad’s graves. And I will help you look for your family there, your relatives.

Ahmad: I don’t need to go there. I have been living without it for ages. (his voice turns teary) I don’t need to! I have my life here. I don’t need to!

Ali: Ahmad, it’s been ages now. You know, since the day I came back not one day has when you’ve acted like yourself. There is always something playing on your mind. There is always something disturbing you. And then you try to rationalize it. You say it was that speaker you heard at the university and then you say it’s work. Or you say it’s Sara. Ahmad, I am not naïve. I know what it is. You miss your mom and dad. And you miss Afghanistan. It’s bound to happen at sometime in your life!

Ahmad: Well, I do miss my mom and dad. But I don’t even know where their graves are. I know there were some people who buried my mom somewhere but I don’t know where she is Ali. Neither do I know about my dad. My memories are so blur. You know it’s pointless, right? (A tear escapes his eye)

Ali: I will help you look for them. We will ask people around, I am sure we will find them. Ahmad, I know you are confused and I know you don't know what to do next. But I also know, that you haven't said a 'no' yet.

Ahmad covers his face with his hands.

Ali: (moves forward and squeezes his shoulder) Ahmad, come with me. We'll arrange for your tickets and everything. I will pay for your ticket. I will pay for the accommodation. We will talk to mom and dad. Come with me.

Ahmad: Ali, I can’t let you pay for me. No I just can’t!

Ali: Whenever did I give you a choice in that matter? I am paying for you. The decision is up to you, do you want to do this Ahmad? I know you feel for your land and your people. Ahmad, you finally have a choice to do something. And I would be there with you, through it all! I promise.

Ahmad: (leaps forward and collapses into Ali’s chest) Ali! I don’t know if I am ready to do this but for months I have been thinking and planning in my head that someday I will go back to Afghanistan. And I would lay flowers on my mom’s grave and I would visit my dad’s grave. They appear in my dreams so often. So often!

Ali: (rubs Ahmad’s back) I know Ahmad. I know! You know, mom told me that once you fell asleep on the couch at their place and you kept mumbling ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. She told me about it. Ahmad, don’t you dare feel that we don’t know what you go through or what you have gone through your entire life. You know when we brought you here, (sighs) you were so reluctant. You were so aggressive and... and mom.. she suffered with you. I suffered with you! We care for you, Ahmad and I don’t give a shit about the fact that the blood that runs through our veins isn’t the same. Ahmad, you are my brother and that is what matters over any blood relation that could’ve possibly existed!

Ahmad: I know Ali! I am a dipshit! A fucking dipshit! Sometimes I feel that I have taken so much from you guys that I won’t ever be able to give back anything.

They turn back and start proceeding towards Ahmad’s apartment.

Ali: but you don’t have to give anything back Ahmad. Whatever mom and dad did, they did it because they love you, like their own child! And their reward lies in the hand of God. Whatever they did for you, they’ll receive more once they die.

Ahmad: But what if God doesn’t give back either? What if they find out that God never existed?

Ali: Again with the same crap talk! Is that finding-something-to-believe-in shit still in your mind?

Ahmad: I don’t see why it shouldn’t be. Has anything changed?

Ali: You know, I don’t believe I am having this conversation with you. You were born in a Muslim family. You have known since birth that God exists and then I don’t know what the fuck happened to you and now you just don’t believe in God, to begin with.

Ahmad: Do you really think we ever were given a choice when we were young? It was almost like an imposition. Going to mosques, fasting, praying! Everything! It was like going to school. Something we just did, without putting our hearts and souls in to it and now that I am old enough to think and analyse, I see it makes no sense to begin with. Ali, tell me. What proof do you have that all of this is true?

Ali: Now you are asking for a proof? Search your heart, you’ll find a proof.

Ahmad: I did, I found nothing.

Ali: Ahmad! Come on! You are being unfair to God. He has been blessing you for years. He has blessed you with everything!

Ahmad: Yeah, maybe that’s why I am going back to Afghanistan to search for my mom and dad’s graves! (Snorts)

Ali: At least he gave you an opportunity to go. Many died with their parents. They never got to see the world.

Ahmad: Oh lucky them! They never had to go through this whole religion thing in their lives!

Ali: Ahmad! AHMAD! Stop uttering such atrocious things. You don’t believe in God. I get it, but don’t disrespect the religion. It still means something to me.

Ahmad: Alright then, I am going to shut up. Let just not talk about it Ali. Ever! (turns to him) Thanks Ali, thanks for doing this for me. Thanks for being a brother, a friend, a companion. I owe you so much man.

Ali: No Ahmad, you owe everything to Go... Forget it. (Pauses) I am glad I was there for you bro. We should visit mom and dad early in the morning tomorrow, I am sure they’ll be overwhelmed!

Ahmad: Early in the morning? (frowns) Oh whatever. Okay then! And maybe after we can visit Sara.

Ali: (grins) We can visit her first if you want!

Ahmad: (stops) That is why I hate mentioning her in front of you. I can’t stand you immature teasing! (walks ahead)

Ali: Not one joke when it comes to her! (laughs and follows him) Wait up!